days of awe*

All is well here in Bridgton, the land of falling leaves. I performed a phlebotomy (otherwise known as venipuncture) for the first time in my life this afternoon, and it went remarkably well. We had a full day of class, Normal Prenatal, concentrating on embryology, and then spent a couple of hours in the afternoon learning how to draw blood. We practised on dummy arms (complete with plastic veins) using vacutainer tubes and ridiculously scary-looking needles -- and keep in mind that I am most defiantly NOT afraid of needles or anything of the sort -- before we had built up sufficient courage to practise on each other. A delightful friend and classmate, to whom I am humbly grateful, offered up her antecubital fossa (the somewhat vulnerable part of the inner arm opposite to the elbow) for the betterment of my education. I explained to her what I was going to do, as though she were a pregnant client of mine, then told her she'd feel a "pinch" but that I'd try not to break her heart. And indeed, I got the vein, first time, and when I clicked the vacutainer tube into place, I watched in astonishment as blood quickly began to flow into it. Deep crimson vein-blood... and the flushed cheeks of success!

I spent Monday evening laughing and feasting with my girlfriends in celebration of Rosh Hashanah (and only one of us is actually Jewish). We ate veggie soup and stoneground bread and kale salad and apple cake, with yet more apples afterward (dipped in honey), as we passed a bowl around and each took a moment to share with our friends the highlights from the past year, and our intentions and wishes for the year to come. As I dipped my toothsome apple slice into the bowl of runny orange-blossom honey, I expressed gratitude for the amazing women I call my friends here, for all my friends back home, and for the friends I've yet to meet. For me, many things have happened over the past year that first seemed like disasters, like things I wasn't fully prepared for, or happenings that -- in my view -- really shouldn't have happened. But as I ate my sweet tidbit (for a sweet new year), I shared out loud that so many 'disasters' have turned out to be extraordinary chances for growth, for getting real, for finding new ways to open up to honesty -- in the sense of living an honest life, in an open-hearted relationship with oneself and other people too. And by that, I also mean, not pretending my way into creating a totally different reality than the one that exists. And so -- my intention for the year is to remember this sweet realisation when I'm going about my daily activities and interactions.

My life really is full of these juicy moments of human connection. And so far, those moments have revolved almost exclusively around women! Lately, there's been a dearth of in-person interactions with the Masculine, although I get plenty of exposure to healthy male energy in my communications with P and with other friends (like I and S) back home. I am coming to terms with the fact that what I have with P, painfully, is a friendship; a treasured, precious, crystalline thing that we tend gently and tentatively, and dust off occasionally, and leave out in the sun to catch the light from time to time.

These days, I'm just in total awe of the quirkiness and bounty of the universe. The days of folding inward are morphing, like the New England trees bursting into fire-streaked Fall colours outside my window, into days of unfurling and leaping and living.

Days of awe indeed.


* Rosh Hashanah is the first of the High Holidays or Yamim Noraim ("Days of Awe"), which are days specifically set aside to focus on repentance that conclude with the holiday of Yom Kippur. Rosh Hashanah is the start of the civil year in the Hebrew calendar. It is the new year for people, animals, and legal contracts. Rosh Hashanah commemorates the creation of man whereas five days earlier, on 25 of Elul, marks the first day of creation.