traditions and trends

Jill Cohen, a midwife, wrote an article called "Trends vs. Traditions" for Midwifery Today last year, bits and pieces of which have stayed with me and bubble up into conscious recall every now and then. Here is an extract:

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The trend is to plan for children. To create and follow through on every detail from conception until graduation. To pick schools, college, degree and profession. The child is not even in utero yet!

The tradition is to be in love, to create children to be loved, adored and nurtured as people. To help them become their own beings and good people. To provide support and aid in their development, instilling great confidence to go forth and be productive individuals in the family and community.

The trend is to do every test available. To find out if the baby has anomalies or other things considered “a problem.” To know the sex of the child. To see inside our sacred wombs and view everything possible.

The tradition is to accept and love what we have made. To honor the unknowing with excitement and anticipation. To wonder but not disturb the natural course of creation. To let nature take its course.

The trend is to take classes that teach how to parent, breastfeed and care for a child. To gain knowledge through books, computers and TV.

The tradition is to learn parenting from the family. To start with child play, continue with babysitting and just being in and around family dynamics. To watch your mother breastfeed and be familiar with what it entails. To know how to parent by being parented.

The trend is to avoid the pain of labor. To labor until you can have an epidural to take away the progressively more intense sensations. To perhaps not labor at all but to schedule a c-section and “take the baby out.” To use all available technology so that you feel you have “done it right.” To replace your instinct with technology. To listen to other voices while ignoring your own.

The tradition is to experience labor. To become empowered by your great efforts and to acknowledge the challenge. To trust your instincts, your physical ability and nature to guide you through the birthing process. To make the birthing experience a vital step into parenting with dignity and assurance.

The trend is to “keep up with the Joneses.” To have the best clothes and baby paraphernalia and the smartest, cutest, most talented child. To have every hour filled with to-dos and athletic endeavors along with dance, music and scholastic events. To achieve, gain and produce constantly.

The tradition is to allow for imagination, free play and natural socialization. To teach children to respect and appreciate their things. To allow achievement and not force it. To be trendy but individualistic, creating independence of thought. To have structured time along with free time.

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The rest of Jill's piece can be found at:

www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/TrendsvsTraditions.asp